memories 1

Memories are things that happened in the past and trapped in your brain cells for some reasons only known perhaps for you and GOD...

Why did your brain want (voluntary or involuntary) to retain some information which are no longer going to repeat itself, probably just for the sake of being SENTIMENTAL?

Whatever the reason might be, memory can be bitter, it can be sweet...
I think i should spend more time writing down memories i fear to be extinct from the limited capacity of  my memory.........Perhaps when i started forgetting things, i can always come back here to read those happy moments that had occurred to me once..reminds me that i used to be happy when im sad, remind me that i once cried when i am overindulging the joy of laughter.

Memory no 1

When i was 7 years old, i really wanted a 'pensil tekan' similar to the one my friend had. She used to parade around using the fancy 'pensil tekan' in front of me, knowing i might be watching and get all envious..( and she succeed for that..)

I got all green with jealousy with her fancy 'pensil tekan' and decided i want one too. No..no..i want two 'pencil tekan's'...better if three (hehe)

So i planned a strategy. My mother never bought me a 'pensil tekan' because in her opinion (hers..not mine..), 'pensil tekan' is not suitable for kids below 12 because the lead is fragile, it might break when you apply greater force while writing

The lead might break, and the pieces will get into your eyes and make you blind

sequence

Mak tak belikan pensil tekan-sebab leadnya senang patah-nanti lead masuk dlm mata-pastu buta

Thats why i never had a 'pensil tekan'

But this time i really determine to ask for one, i will sulk, i will rebel ( merajuk dan memberontak adalah senjata paling ampuh untuk budak berusia 7 tahun...kan)

So i choose to sulk..i refuse to eat and i refuse to go to school, until my mom had to made a promise

Okay, here's your 'pensil tekan'

Long story short,i got my long-dreamed 'pensil tekan'...and to my dismay, i found it to be ineffective

Yeah, ist true, the lead will break so easily, and the i have to apply force everytime im using it, because the it trace so thin and unclear..my handwriting will be so illigible ( did i spell it right, who cares)

The first memories................................................

continued

Career

Tragedy, last Thursday, venue: Lecture hall 1:

I was trying to explain properties of matrices determinant no.8. I explained it for the first time, and my students couldn't get it, i explained it twice, they couldn't understand it, i explained it thrice, they still couldn't grasp the concept, thinking of explaining it for the fourth time, but my flu and sore throat got in the way, i giving up efffort and asking them to do their own revision.

That 's when i started having some thought of my career.

Of the doubt

you point to a string of stars shining so bright, you show me a view worth a sight, you talk of a paths shone with light, you illustrate a picture that seem so right, you meet my want with all you might...

why is it you isnt you? just when i thought i found the right you, the second thought said that you isnt you? I wish i never had found any you that i had met, the real you will be found.........

The reminder

I woke up with sore throat, runny nose and my body temperature slighty elevated. The first thought pop up in my mind was to take sick leave and slept all day, but weighing the consequences of getting a day off, i resist the urge to rest and with all difficulty forcing myself to get up and get ready for work.

Day at work with the unwell condition was torturing. The air-conditioner was restored to its best operation, cooling the air, making me shiver. I wore another layer of clothes to heat up the temperature, but to no avail. The worst of all was the coughing. Frequent coughing causing my throat to blister, making it difficult for me to speak, let alone teach.

The lecture halls was wayyyy colder, currently teaching matrices, a topic i cannot fathom why my students cannot grasp the concept since they had learnt matrices in their Modern Mathematics Secondary level.

By 4.15, my head was spinning like hell, well its a torture, really...

Perhaps its a disease sent to me, to remind me of what i'm forgetting, well its a reminder....

reality will trash all the sensitive bunch into the depth of unfathomable sadness

You can tell im in great distress when my blog is updated in undisputable ( did i spell it right? who cares, im after all a maths teacher, not an english teacher) rapid frequency, and you can tell im in the mood of elation when my blog updates has no fix time interval, or in uncertainty.

If i stand on a scale which measure the way i think, the cursor will definitely deviate to rational thinker instead of a feeler, most of the time i dun fell anything of a particular situation, when most of the people, if they happens to be in the same situation, will cry and cry and cry

Im strong, and extraordinary, not sensitive, reality will trash all the sensitive bunch into the depth of unfathomable sadness

so dun be sad, dun be sensitive, be strong!!!

Sometimes i think i can, but most of the time i think i cant

Success put confidence in you, when you succeed, no more qualms and no more doubt will circle your thought about your capability to achieve what you want. Repeated failure will put up a pyschological barrier of you and your motivation, hence the motivation immediately died.

i believe every human being is tailored and created to be what they are assigned and commissioned to be right before their birth. The right path to lead life is not trying to be what you think you can do best, but trying to think of what you really can do; or in other word, STOP DREAMING.

Lately, i've been excessively mingling with Mathematics, it conjure up an image in my brain that i am a Mathematical 'Goddess' ( Goddess has no connection whatsoever with any religious matter, just a substitute for another controversial word, and for the lack of better word)

Continued..(mengantuk)

to loathe / to love

Yeah its coming, the beginning of the week, gonna determine the overall mood throughout the week, bad start spells doom, great things is gonna kickstart the chain reaction of thousands other lucks. Like a well-oiled machine, like finding a needle in haystack, good monday translate to imply rare luck is coming your way. If people can smell luck, there will be no more tears,  no more grief.

As for me, i started my monday with usual daily routine to work. long story short, the day at work started with the assembly, along with the students, i'll sing along KMJ's anthem, prayer recital, announcement.

Then i'll be off to lecture, lecturing of Mathematical-whatsoever for an hour to the paying attention nerdy in front and to the yawning deviant at the back....

Me and my monday, i loathe love

...dalam mode berjimat-cermat untuk mengumpul satu juta

Sudah lama tidak pulang ke kampung, akhirnya aku mengambil keputusan untuk pulang jua kerana tidak sanggup menantikan tarikh cuti pada 28 hb Julai.

Pengangkutan yang dipilih adalah bas, kerana? nk jimat..hahahaha
Sudah lama tidak naik bas untuk pulang ke kg halaman, biasanya aku memilih:

1)untuk menempah tiket Air Asia sebulan lebih awal (baca: tempah awal kerana? nk jimat...hahaha)

2) Memandu sendiri bersama kawan-kawan

Namun kekangan masa dan juga, nk jimat...hahaha, maka ku memilih BAS CEPAT EKSPRES jeng jeng jeng..hahaahaha ( apa apa la Labu)

Yg pasti utk pulang pada 28 julai, aku dh beli tiket flight awal2 lagi\....jimat