memories 1

Memories are things that happened in the past and trapped in your brain cells for some reasons only known perhaps for you and GOD...

Why did your brain want (voluntary or involuntary) to retain some information which are no longer going to repeat itself, probably just for the sake of being SENTIMENTAL?

Whatever the reason might be, memory can be bitter, it can be sweet...
I think i should spend more time writing down memories i fear to be extinct from the limited capacity of  my memory.........Perhaps when i started forgetting things, i can always come back here to read those happy moments that had occurred to me once..reminds me that i used to be happy when im sad, remind me that i once cried when i am overindulging the joy of laughter.

Memory no 1

When i was 7 years old, i really wanted a 'pensil tekan' similar to the one my friend had. She used to parade around using the fancy 'pensil tekan' in front of me, knowing i might be watching and get all envious..( and she succeed for that..)

I got all green with jealousy with her fancy 'pensil tekan' and decided i want one too. No..no..i want two 'pencil tekan's'...better if three (hehe)

So i planned a strategy. My mother never bought me a 'pensil tekan' because in her opinion (hers..not mine..), 'pensil tekan' is not suitable for kids below 12 because the lead is fragile, it might break when you apply greater force while writing

The lead might break, and the pieces will get into your eyes and make you blind

sequence

Mak tak belikan pensil tekan-sebab leadnya senang patah-nanti lead masuk dlm mata-pastu buta

Thats why i never had a 'pensil tekan'

But this time i really determine to ask for one, i will sulk, i will rebel ( merajuk dan memberontak adalah senjata paling ampuh untuk budak berusia 7 tahun...kan)

So i choose to sulk..i refuse to eat and i refuse to go to school, until my mom had to made a promise

Okay, here's your 'pensil tekan'

Long story short,i got my long-dreamed 'pensil tekan'...and to my dismay, i found it to be ineffective

Yeah, ist true, the lead will break so easily, and the i have to apply force everytime im using it, because the it trace so thin and unclear..my handwriting will be so illigible ( did i spell it right, who cares)

The first memories................................................

continued

Career

Tragedy, last Thursday, venue: Lecture hall 1:

I was trying to explain properties of matrices determinant no.8. I explained it for the first time, and my students couldn't get it, i explained it twice, they couldn't understand it, i explained it thrice, they still couldn't grasp the concept, thinking of explaining it for the fourth time, but my flu and sore throat got in the way, i giving up efffort and asking them to do their own revision.

That 's when i started having some thought of my career.

Of the doubt

you point to a string of stars shining so bright, you show me a view worth a sight, you talk of a paths shone with light, you illustrate a picture that seem so right, you meet my want with all you might...

why is it you isnt you? just when i thought i found the right you, the second thought said that you isnt you? I wish i never had found any you that i had met, the real you will be found.........

The reminder

I woke up with sore throat, runny nose and my body temperature slighty elevated. The first thought pop up in my mind was to take sick leave and slept all day, but weighing the consequences of getting a day off, i resist the urge to rest and with all difficulty forcing myself to get up and get ready for work.

Day at work with the unwell condition was torturing. The air-conditioner was restored to its best operation, cooling the air, making me shiver. I wore another layer of clothes to heat up the temperature, but to no avail. The worst of all was the coughing. Frequent coughing causing my throat to blister, making it difficult for me to speak, let alone teach.

The lecture halls was wayyyy colder, currently teaching matrices, a topic i cannot fathom why my students cannot grasp the concept since they had learnt matrices in their Modern Mathematics Secondary level.

By 4.15, my head was spinning like hell, well its a torture, really...

Perhaps its a disease sent to me, to remind me of what i'm forgetting, well its a reminder....

reality will trash all the sensitive bunch into the depth of unfathomable sadness

You can tell im in great distress when my blog is updated in undisputable ( did i spell it right? who cares, im after all a maths teacher, not an english teacher) rapid frequency, and you can tell im in the mood of elation when my blog updates has no fix time interval, or in uncertainty.

If i stand on a scale which measure the way i think, the cursor will definitely deviate to rational thinker instead of a feeler, most of the time i dun fell anything of a particular situation, when most of the people, if they happens to be in the same situation, will cry and cry and cry

Im strong, and extraordinary, not sensitive, reality will trash all the sensitive bunch into the depth of unfathomable sadness

so dun be sad, dun be sensitive, be strong!!!

Sometimes i think i can, but most of the time i think i cant

Success put confidence in you, when you succeed, no more qualms and no more doubt will circle your thought about your capability to achieve what you want. Repeated failure will put up a pyschological barrier of you and your motivation, hence the motivation immediately died.

i believe every human being is tailored and created to be what they are assigned and commissioned to be right before their birth. The right path to lead life is not trying to be what you think you can do best, but trying to think of what you really can do; or in other word, STOP DREAMING.

Lately, i've been excessively mingling with Mathematics, it conjure up an image in my brain that i am a Mathematical 'Goddess' ( Goddess has no connection whatsoever with any religious matter, just a substitute for another controversial word, and for the lack of better word)

Continued..(mengantuk)

to loathe / to love

Yeah its coming, the beginning of the week, gonna determine the overall mood throughout the week, bad start spells doom, great things is gonna kickstart the chain reaction of thousands other lucks. Like a well-oiled machine, like finding a needle in haystack, good monday translate to imply rare luck is coming your way. If people can smell luck, there will be no more tears,  no more grief.

As for me, i started my monday with usual daily routine to work. long story short, the day at work started with the assembly, along with the students, i'll sing along KMJ's anthem, prayer recital, announcement.

Then i'll be off to lecture, lecturing of Mathematical-whatsoever for an hour to the paying attention nerdy in front and to the yawning deviant at the back....

Me and my monday, i loathe love

...dalam mode berjimat-cermat untuk mengumpul satu juta

Sudah lama tidak pulang ke kampung, akhirnya aku mengambil keputusan untuk pulang jua kerana tidak sanggup menantikan tarikh cuti pada 28 hb Julai.

Pengangkutan yang dipilih adalah bas, kerana? nk jimat..hahahaha
Sudah lama tidak naik bas untuk pulang ke kg halaman, biasanya aku memilih:

1)untuk menempah tiket Air Asia sebulan lebih awal (baca: tempah awal kerana? nk jimat...hahaha)

2) Memandu sendiri bersama kawan-kawan

Namun kekangan masa dan juga, nk jimat...hahaha, maka ku memilih BAS CEPAT EKSPRES jeng jeng jeng..hahaahaha ( apa apa la Labu)

Yg pasti utk pulang pada 28 julai, aku dh beli tiket flight awal2 lagi\....jimat

PLAY

i cried all day.
i cried all the way.
night fall sun give way
to the moon so far away
future leaving leeway
troubled past however stay
wanderer stopped at a highway
hoping to hitchhike on the way
Wind slowly blow and sway
hope sprout to pray
but everything just part of the PLAY

I learnt so much yesterday

I went to PWTC to attend PETAH, the abbreviation to something like 'Pesta Intelek dan whatever~~?',, i think that was a great event and will be continuing for another 2 or 3 days??? i dont know


Always the huge fan of public speaking, especially debate.. i went thru all kind of predicaments, just to b there~


Woke up early, to tag along my sis to HKL, because she's gonna gimme a ride to PWTC, but she gotta fulfill her duty as a doctor first ( she's on call yesterday)...My sis 'smuggled' me to the only-staff-area and i witnessed peculiar gadget doing experiment on its own accord (of course its computer stimulated)..


weird smell and everyone was wearing..lab coat..haha


And jargons too, pathology?? endocrinology??? (forgive me if the spelling's wrong, its not typos!)


No numbers, equation and all the s**t, the elements i found most soothing


Then at 12, taaaadaaaaaa, PWTC, berdebat dengan usul "Penempatan guru di kawasan pedalaman wajar', kami pembangkang


1st speaker, macam biasa la, aku belasah je...


then, Kay from UiTM gave me a pass worth RM 20 (how can i repay that?), together with Habibah, i visited the place with many booths including PETAH's booth


I remember the back of my hand was stamped with YOUTH 10', (note: it hasnt fade yet)


Thats all, then Habibah went on debating with Dayah from UTM and her sis.


I  decided to leave, hop on the commuter heading to Mid Valley to meet my sis there


Then we went to Carefour Bandar Tun Hussien Onn, indulge myself with food


Today im going back to Johor ( driving)


I learnt so much yesterday.........


Syukur, Alhamdulillah.....

Night, please dont go

Saying good bye to the sun, welcoming the serene night, festooned with stars, scattered all over the black sky of midnight, the stars, in unison, singing a lullaby, to lull me into the deep slumber, so then i can keep on dreaming and waking up happy, or dissapointed, or both, from the knowledge of all the good things was just a dream, without no proper prospect to materialize, or at least distinguished the inferno of despair, prune the unnecessary qualms...

Night, i bear no worship to the joy of seeing the bright sunlight again
Even when the dark really hid the beauty peak of Ledang
Night, please dont go

-NNCR- copyrught

p/s: go go power rangers!

Lets sing and cry, cry and sing, and lets write a song to be sing when you cried

Determination has a direct connection with success, once you strive to achieve what you want, the glory will be yours for some temporary period, you gotta work hard, harder, and hardest to maintain the glory.The pain of the fall from the peak will hurt more than not getting there at the very first place.

Life is difficult, if you think about it, so

Lets sing and cry, cry and sing, and lets write a song to be sing when you cried

Onion

I quote this from an unknown blogger " people are like onion", i stumbled upon his ( ke her?) blog about a month ago when i was blogwalking ( ke blog hopping?), on the net.

People are like onion, made of layers, first rendezvous gave us the first impression of how a person really like, it might be the true innermost core, or it might be the shiny outermost skin.

But the judgement will be subjective, subject to one's own common sense, the perception can change, over time.

Let the time do the work, may the truth prevail..................................................................................................................

Petang ini panas, maka aku ingin tulis tentang suatu petang yang panas tahun lalu ketikaku masih di situ (haha)

Dulu, semasa menjalani latihan mengajar di Negeri Selangor, di suatu hari yg tidak begitu indah (haha),

Waktu petang, cuaca panas, angin tidak bertiup, berpeluh lagi sunburn diriku di tengah padang.
Kenapa?

Mengawasi perbarisan PBSM, tabah dan tegak (dan cuba untuk tegap), berpanas di tengah kawasan lapang; kerana aku guru praktikal ( paling muda maka sewajarnya paling tahan panas? ?), tanpa payung mahupun topi, dan tanpa sunblock

Setiap saat ku kenang, saat aku berdiri bagai orang-orangan di tengah sawah, bagai kulitku kalis haba, membiarkan setiap permukaan yg disua, diselar haba (hahahaa)

Melaninku sedikit ( sebab aku cerah..jgn marah..haha), maka kulitku perit, otak pun bagai menggelegak.

Aku suka mendongak ke langit, tanpa memejamkan mata, seolah-olah melawan kuasa mentari, cuba mengasimilasikan kepanasan yang perit membakar dengan sejuknya sabar yang selalu dipupuk.

Baru aku rasa sejuk...

Besarnya kuasa SABAR...maka bersabarlah =)

M.A.L.A.S

Menonton berita boleh jadi derita, didera berita kurang enak, di luar kewarasan yang rasional dan tak terjangka, bermacam-macam cerita, yang aku tak suka.

****, menyumpahi berita yang beritahu aku dunia kini sudah tidak ceria, warna-warna suci yang dulu menghiasi, ramai orang sudah lupa

Sudah jgn merungut lg, tutup TV, senang, jimat elektrik ( tak juga, buka laptop pula, menekuni FB dan blogspot pula)

M.A.L.A.S

Sepohon pokok dalam sebuah lukisan yang dilukiskan di bawah pokok (haha)

Someone plant a seed with the usual typical hope to see the seed to progress becoming a strong giant tree, housing several weaker plant, provide shelter for the creature in need, functioning as the water reservoir, clamping the earth, preventing the land from eroding, exhale sufficient oxygen, and to the very least, shading some pedesterian passing by the street from the harsh scorching sun light.

The tree bear fruit, supplying both, the image which goes easy to the eyes and immediate refreshment for the traveller in thirst. The ripening fruit can be both, heaven healthy snack and attraction for mischief. The sight of a tree rich with fruit sometimes convey the message of the landowner prosperity, the un-pluck fruit discretely saying the landowner has had enough.

thats it.

*Entri ini tak ada sebarang motif dan makna*

M.M.M.Y.T.D.D.H

Di dinding rumahku, ada satu gambar pemandangan yang cantik, ada laut, dan kapal, langit biru, terang, tidak berawan, camar berterbangan. Tiada manusia diilustrasikan dalam gambar ini.

Cantik

Dalam satu gambar, ilustrasi yg konkrit, dilihat dari sudut abstrak, menjadi mimpi, yang dialami, hanya dalam mimpi.

Maka M.M.M.Y.T.D.D.H

Sekian, terima kasih

Robert and Ursula, the ultimate fridge disaster (part 2)

Ursula has finally met her match. Her tough match, in fact. The destiny has spelled their future:

"neither can live while the other survives"

And ironically, the toughest match she seeks all her life was her own grandson, her own sole heir, her only reminder of whats left of her beloved son who died several years after the great draught.

So, why did she hated her own grandson? It all trace back to a tragedy happened 3 years before Robert was brought to life. A trivial scuffle over the selection of her future grandson name ( future grandson refers to Robert).

Ursula, with all her heart detest the name 'Robert', for reason ultimately unreasonable. Robert was the name of the ice-cream vendor who refuse to give her free ice cream. Thats all. Stupid Ursula (haha)

The small scuffle lead to ugly debate, Ursula also went mad over her excess rage. She almost went amok around the kampong using her deadly matches...

CERPU INI BERSAMBUNG KERANA PENULIS PERLU KELUAR MEMBERI MAKAN KEPADA AYAM DAN ITIK ITIK PELIHARAAN..

To be continued...

Robert and Ursula, the ultimate fridge disaster (part 1)

Robert was raised by his grandmother, Ursula, an old hag scumbag who despised her own only grandson, Robert who in turn hated his grandmother, Ursula. In other simpler term, they hated each other. Apart from the mutual hatred between Robert and Ursuula, they were the most peculiar partner in crime ever cooperate to bring a crime, to success.

Perhaps, if it ever exist, a record of how many times a particular person tried to kill the other person, Robert and Ursula must had outperform everyone on earth for their frequent attempt to kill each other.

Try imagining Mr and Mrs Smith funny act at each of their attempt to kill each other, sending us all laughing like mad in front of the screen. Each of Angelina Jolie' brutal assault to Brad Pitt might considered as gesture of sparkling love spark, and each of Brad Pitt defense considered as the adoring sign of eternal love, but

Between Robert and Ursula, two person with no love nor liking of each other, the scene can be so revolting, gross, and yucking.


....CERPU (CERPEN MERAPU) ini bersambung sebab penulisnya (Nurul Nadiah) mengantuk giler babas ke tahap tidak boleh bukak mata dh kerana sekarang dh pukul 3.17 pagi....jika diteruskan CERPU ini akan makin merapu atau menjadi CERRUT (CERPEN MENGARUT)...

to be continued....

Selamat pagi Kelantan, selamat pagi org2 kampung ku

Wahai sinar yang hadir setelah lama tandusnya cahaya
Jangan kau fakirkan nikmat dan rahmat yang dibawa
Manusia kadangkala ingkar dan sukar mahu percaya
Cuma melihat yang nyata tanpa hiraukan yang maya

3.00 pagi, di bilik di rumah di kampung di Kelantan di Malaysia..haha

Selamat pagi Kelantan, selamat pagi org2 kg ku (bajet org kg aku baca blog ni ke? mmg syok sendiri)

Selamat malam, selamat tinggal

Back to the news flash, my progress living ALL ALONE in this house which is rumoured to be haunted.

Well, apart from occasional scary image which crop up in my mind, none of it has yet materialized right in front of my eyes. urm, you can guess, usual form of ghost potrayed by the hollywood and Korean horror movie.

1. Long-haired women, white-clothed, soaked with blood, fury face, deadly smile, fatal kiss (wahaha)

2. Headless mad guy

3. Puteri Gunung Ledang (???)

Well, i gotta need all the strenght to survive just for a few hours now, i'll be goin' to KL tomorrow (sunday). Driving my Kelisa as if it was a BMW, perhaps i'll speed up to 200 km per hour (haha)

*maunyer relai dan lerai kelisa tuh*

Dan, untuk Tangkak,

Selamat malam, selamat tinggal

Jam untuk lihat waktu

Sepanjang hidup ini, dua perkara yang paling aku gemar adalah buku, dan jam. Pantang ada wang, aku akan beli jam, ataupun buku. Jika ditanya mahu hadiah apa? aku akan jawab jam atau buku.

Aku boleh membaca berjam-jam tanpa melihat jam, aku akan pakai jam bila aku baca buku supaya aku sedar dengan waktu.

Menurut seorang pensyarah aku di UPSI dahulu (Azlan Hadi), baca cuma buku-buku ilmiah berbahasa Melayu, novel? cuma baca yg berbahasa inggeris. Jangan baca novel Melayu.

Aku turut nasihat itu. Aku cuma baca novel Bahasa Inggeris, melainkan novel Melayu karya A. Samad Said.

Sudah banyak aku catat mengenai buku, dalam blog terdahulu (http://cikgunadiah.blogspot.com/ -sudah di-private-kan!). Justeru hari ini, catatan mengenai jam pula:

1.Ada sebuah jam dinding di rumah-ku, warna coklat, setahu diri ini sudah 30 tahun(menurut cerita ibu) ia menunjuk waktu kepada kami sekeluarga. 90% imej dan kenangan zaman kanak-kanak ku melibatkan jam itu. Bentuknya empat segi, dengan corak-corak ukiran di sekeliling. Jarumnya berwarna hitam dan mengeluarkan bunyi 'tik tok' yang agak jelas terutama di waktu tengah malam.

2.Ada sebuah jam yang berbentuk seperti periuk. Hadiah dari kakakku (sempena apa lupa plak!). Dalam nya ada ilustrasi seorang ( seekor?) ibu beruang sedang masak untuk untuk anak beruang ( atau mungkin anak sedara beruang, tak pasti pula.haha). Masih baik keadaannya, dan kerana bentuknya yang seperti periuk, maka ia digantung di dapur.
Ye la, periuk kan memang kat dapur letaknya.

3.Semasa aku berusia lapan tahun, atas dasar rasa ingin tahu dan naluri inkuiri yang menggila ( wah, tak bleh blah, haha), aku telah
Pecahkan muka jam sebuah jam tangan dengan menggunakan tukul.
Aku ingat peristiwa ini sebab kaca yg pecah terpercik hampir masuk mataku.
Tapi tentulah tak kena, sebab tu la i tak buta lagi okay

*dan apa  hasil eksperimen aku pecahkan muka jam itu? tiada*

4.Jam-jam hadiah dari IBU, itu yg paling aku kenang.
Semasa di tahun tiga, aku hilangkan satu jam hadiah dari ibu semasa pergi Debat Alam Sekitar di Sabah.(kesal tak habis lagi)
Semasa aku mula kerja di KMJ ini, ibu hadiahkan satu jam emas miliknya (belum hilang, takkan hilang)
Semasa ibu pulang dari Mekah (Umrah, baru-baru ini), ibu hadiahkan satu jam tangan lagi (belum hilang, takkan hilang)

Kalaulah waktu ini boleh dibeli dan diburu
Yang aku mahu cuma ke depan aku maju
Tidak ingin lagi kembali ke masa yang lalu
Supaya tidak perlu kukenal kamu, kamu dan kamu

-Nadiah-

i dun wanna miss my flight

I am left all alone in this creepy KMJ's staff's residential area. All of my housemates ( Dasila, Matun, Aliya, Aishah) has either:

1. Went on a date (nama dirahsiakan)
2.Went back to their hometown
3.Went back to their hometown
4.Went back to their hometown

Only then i remember i have a blog! What a discovery. This is the perfect chance for me to update this already-starting-to-collect-dust blog.

So, why do i prefer staying in P3 rather that going somewhere else?

err, not that i love Tangkak that much, its just that i am waiting for my flight on MONDAY. MONDAY.MONDAY.

That's all...

bleeding rose, bleeding heart, excruciating pain, and now im dead

Skin when stabbed, it bleed
Blood pouring, smells not great
Blood means it once alive and greed
It once has mercy even just a bit


In your blood vessel it once circulate
The vessel broke, get contaminated
Your clothes get all soaked wet
With your life now you bet


Bleeding rose, bleeding heart
It once rose, now its just dead

~Nurul Nadiah Che Rahim~ (copyright)

NOT in the pink of health

After came back from KL, i was infected with an 'unknown type of influenza' virus..(haha)

No, no, it was just a slight discomfort in  my nasal area. No, no, not H1N1, dont worry..

But, my head spin quite miserably, and my nose all runny. It ruins my day, my mood, my everything for getting something... huh

Im getting a fever, my temperature was moderately elevated, disrupt my biological mechanism such as breathing, including my digestion..huh

sigh.............................................................................

Pusara di Lebuhraya

As i drove along the south-north highway, something came up to my thinking which i was quite relief wasnt materialize to reality. What exactly was i thinking about wasnt important, nor did it was of any significance to the life of others, nor did i actually care to share it with the readers, for fear that they will beg to differ, simply i dun wanna write it here, because its a not something i can be proud about or inherit to my heir.

*Tak faham takpa.Terima kasih*

I took the the right lane for i chose to drive in the range of 80-90 km per hour, when it was safe to idle, i'll turn the music volume to full blast, the coarse and harsh melody drilling my eardrum and threatening to torn it raw. Occasionally speeding to overtake the massive, huge oil truck,

I took the sharp turn, almost slip beneath the gigantic wheel, manage to drift away for my life, but the speed send my car flying, and my mind racing, no, im not dying, i simply took revenge and went after the oil truck at the breathtaking speed, the oil truck driver practicaaly chicken and probably wet his pant for the intimidating style of driving i displayed.

Huh, pemandu lori, baru tau betapa terernya saya memandu?

p/s:
yg bertulisan merah tu semua tipu, gara-gara nak tengok wayang kat Mid Valley semalam tak dapat, ramai sgt org. Yg available cuma filem KL Drift yg tak best tuh..huh!

bagaimana?

When i was at school, my teacher always encourages me to ask 'how' question instead of 'why' question. I asked 'how does the photosynthesis process occur?',' how to integrate this-and-that-kind of functions?', 'how to sew these two pieces of clothes?', 'how to....' bla..bla

How?

So today, i'd like to ask how do we live? Or, the exact question is how do we live, happy?

The answer provided right around you. Its the outright facts from the start that all unhappiness stem from desire, or to be more exact, desire which can't be satisfied under your very limited capacity, and we always desire things we cannot achieve.

That way you suffer.

Try to learn to find happiness in the simplest good thing you encounter everyday, even the trivial fortunate good consequences from the daily ordinary good deeds, or simply well organized routine, or you can easily be happy merely by thinking about being happy.

Happiness is a 'potion', it can be 'brewed' with the right ingredients in correct portion. It can be created, shared and preserved.

Example:

Aku bangun pagi untuk pergi kerja, memandang kereta kelisa-ku, aku gembira, bila cuba hidupkan enjin, ia segera beri kerjasama tanpa masalah, aku gembira, masuk pejabat, lihat mejaku, kerusiku, PC-ku ada pada tempatnya, aku gembira, kemudian duduk, pelajarku datang bertanyakan soalan, dan aku dapat bantu mereka, aku gembira, tiba waktu tengahari, makan, aku gembira...

Susah ke nak happy tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sekalian?



p/s: Sejujurnya sewaktu mengarang entri ini, ketika ia hampir ke penghujungnya, aku rasa agak senget sikit, gila ke? mana ada org gembira byk-byk sgt kan dlm satu hari??

Manusia zaman moden ini byk bersedih dan kecewa shj? betul kan?

Siapa?

When your life is threatening to push you down to the deepest and darkest area you fear all your life, what are you suppose to do? run away? commit suicide? pray? or simply and calm yourself down? or perhaps you'll start blaming everyone and everything including your neighbour for not turning down the stereo volume, pained your head with the throbbing sound, causing you insomnia for so many nights now, and your neighbours kids, for screaming and crying like their head been cut off, adding the severity to your already very severe headache, or, would you blame the postmen, for delivering the debt payment notice, reminding you what you owe, and how little you owning.

Who to blame? who wants to take the blame?

Who?
Who?

Begin-working-waiting

Whatever you did in life always started at zero, progressing to something huge and great; if you put suffice effort on it! Time taken for the progress will vary, the longer it takes for you to reach your objective, the harder your patience be tested, vice versa.

But, the most difficult stage is not about waiting for the result, the hardest chapter in the whole story is about how? where? when? to START? what? to begin with?

The beginning is the crucial stage which determine where the whole thing is leading. Sometimes the tiny sparks ignites at the very beginning will cease to turn into inferno, because the starting point is already very lame.

Hujan turun sangat lebat...

1. Sepanjang aku berada Tangkak ini, tidak banyak hari hujan yang aku ingat, cuma beberapa hari yg lalu, ketika makan di sebuah restoran paling ekslusif di Tangkak ini ( haha), hujan telah turun dengan sangat lebat, disertai dengan bunyi bising yg sarat memenuhi setiap ruang dalam otakku, hasil dari hentakan kasar titisan hujan pada atap zink.

2.Aku suka menulis bila hari hujan, dan ya, aku akan tulis tentang hujan, kerna hujan adalah suatu subjek alam semulajadi yang aku rasa luas julat pentafsirannya; ia boleh jadi bala pada nelayan dan penoreh getah, jadi satu rahmat pada petani yang mahu tumbuh-tumbuhannya subur, terlalu banyak alamatnya celaka, tiada maka kontanglah dunia.

*apa-apa pun kita cuma wajib bersyukur*

3. Aku tamat pengajian pada bulan April, konvo pada bulan Ogos, dan menunggu posting dari Ogos hinggalah Disember. Sepanjang musim tengkujuh tahun 2009 aku habiskan menulis blog yg disepahkan dengan entri-entri berkenaan hujan. ( blog lama, http://cikgunadiah.blogspot.com/ sudah di-privatekan!)

4.Setiap kali turunnya hujan, aku akan tulis sesuatu mengenainya, dalam Bahasa Inggeris dan Bahasa Melayu. Mungkin sebab aku dilahirkan pada suatu hari yang hujan sangat lebat pada bulan Disember 1986, maka aku membesar jadi seorang manusia senget yg suka hujan (haha).

Ya, menurut kajian seorang pakar psikologi, jika kamu lahir si musim tengkujuh, maka kamu akan dewasa menjadi seorang manusia pemikir yang amat kurang kata-kata dan cuma lebih reaktif di kala hujan turun.

*kajian tu tipu* (haha)

5.Hujan membawa kenangan ketika bulan puasa 2009, di hadapan rumahku ada Pasar Ramadhan, dan hujan selalu turun lebat di waktu petang, di balik tingkap, tingkat 2 rumahku, aku kasihan melihat penjaja lari bertempiaran kerana hujan, mengajarku erti syukur dengan kurniaan tuhan yg menyenangkan hidup ini!

Dalam tenang turunnya gerimis
Rupanya ada taufan yg mengguris
Dan sebenarnya kau ingin menangis
Cuma berpura pura menjadi bengis

Kesimpulan: Saya suka hujan. hehe

Kawan, ini TERIMA KASIH dariku...

Sudah lamanya jauh terpisah, alam pengajian sudah lama jadi kisah yg telah sudah, setiap dari kita sudah punya cerita yang lebih indah, menempuh alam yg beselang seli riang dan gundah....................................................................................

Ini utk teman-teman pengajianku yg tahu kewujudan blog ini (debat dan coursemate)

Dan

buat teman-teman pendebat, junior debat, coursemate, teman dari serata 4 buah sekolah menengah yg pernah aku attend, dan tentunya teman-teman baru di KMJ.

Terima kasih,

Rindu korang, reunion? =====> tunggu gaji.huhuhu

As i walk along a long path and alone
I begun to wonder and wander
Am i all alone or is it just a longing
Cause when i open my eyes i saw people
What ignites the solitary illusion?
When im all surrounded by solid figures
And isolation is the only thing im lacking
Then i close my eyes and i realize
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you

Friends, i miss you

-Nadiah-

Tentang langit KMJ ini...

Td perlawanan bola jaring, sudah tentu aku tidak main, cuma duduk tepi padang, sungguh kurang berminat dengan aktivit sukan, n aku mahu tulis ini, tentang langit yg aku renung.

Sky symbolizing endless possibilities,
the width nor the height lack distinct border,
the birds flying as if the only fear is immobile,
the smooth flow they sketch,
the invisible colour they trace,
As the flock of birds flying together,
they signify solidarity,
conveying a non-verbal unity message,
As infinite as the sky area might seem,
None cant be achieved,
If you put your heart in it.


-Nadiah-

When the world you live in no longer defines you...

...

Either or neither nor

I'm stealing 3 minutes to post this, writing right from my desk in Maths unit KMJ.

When i woke this morning, my joint and muscle aching all over, fatigue wash over me, my throat felt blistered, and waking up is an effort.

When i stretch, my waist felt like it wanna break

So today's a bad day, perhaps because its monday, or perhaps because im not feelin well.

Either or neither

Me-active

Due to some calling to practise healthy lifestyle, i respond to the request to play netball/volleyball, representing the department in the upcoming inter-department sport championship ( err, it is more i was MADE to participate actually..haha)

With all due respect, i am all but sporty, anything but athletic, the typical 'tangan bangku' nerdy bookworm who the only exercise was the intellect, none physically!

Bab-bab fizikal mengejar bola ni aku mmg hancur sangat sangat!

Selepas main bola jaring 10 minit sahaja, aku sudah kepucatan dan kelelahan terduduk di tepi padang, diletakkan di posisi centre, aku rasa bagai nak pitam ( ikhlas) mengejar bola.

i think i wanna volunteer for the reserve position. And honestly, i think i'd never play again

Not playing when i am 24, that means not forever. Perhaps i'll opt for 100 times a day sits-up, jog weekly, or perhaps i'll buy a treadmill

But netball? NO NO, not again ( surrender)

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

The greatest love of all.

Those who love, and loved will claim they posses the greatest love of all. None will admit flaw in the seemingly-perfect reciprocal affection they share with their love ones. The life they lead is the best ever imagined, their day is heaven, every passing second is gift, and aging is an inert process.

Everything associated with love is great, but which is the greatest, of all?

Mother's love can see pass all flaws. It care neither how you look nor how rich are you. it does not evaluate but protects, instead of asking, it is giving.

Kasih agung itu kasih dari ibu, dan yg paling agung pastilah kasih Tuhan.

p/s: mood skrang sgt homesick, teringat rumah dan teringat ma.

Budak bijak

Since i was a small kid, i love a story which narrates the children prodigy capability to solve crimes or complex investigation murder cases exceed the adult. Better, if the story features the kid hoodwink the adult to top the race to the solution of the cases.

That means, the story of 'budak bijak' always kinda intrigue me more than the love story frequent appear on the TV. i cherish the fact and belief that kid grows in stages. A kid who skip some stages and behaving ( also thinking) like an adult at the age when he/she is suppose to be behaving like a kid is, in a way, extraordinary. I was in complete awe to watch those kind of movie.

Biar lah, tidak mengapa, tuhan ada~

Nobody wants to cry, everyone wants to be happy, rich and pretty, loved and ass-kissed.

Your neverending quest to achieve everything that seems good will do you no good. The only answer for happiness is to be content with whatever you have, satisfied over your own possesion, prune the devil murmur to want more after been given much. In other word, be grateful, bersyukurlah~

As the saying goes, 'grass on the other side always look greener', everything is not as it seems, the ill-intention you have towards people will backfire at one point of your life without you truly realizing it. Everything you encounter in your very short life span is the result of your doing. Pembalasan~

So, when you get backstabbed, slandered, cheated, even hated, dont even think of getting a revenge, katakan lah:

Biar lah, tidak mengapa, tuhan ada~

I finally found peace

i think i had found what im looking for all my life. Since i was in university, i was always having the unnecessary worry regarding my future working life. I always kinda imagining i'll be posted somewhere rural to the extent of lacking the electricity supply, network coverage and interrupted water supply.

When qualms flooding your mind, the sure way to clear the space is to pray, asking for guidance and blessing from the Al-Mighty ALLAH SWT, the PROVIDER of all need.

So, i prayed, i prayed very hard when the time came for me to be posted, i hope i'll find serenity and lasting peace in that place. Then,

'twing twing twing' ( sound effect ini seperti bunyi magic dlm film kartun, gunakan imaginasi anda!)

Wishes granted

Here i am, Tangkak

Well, i cant say i truly love this place, but compare to the place i'd been before (eg: praktikum di SB), its lotsa lotsa lotsa lotsa BETTER

But i know, wherever i am, as long as i keep my heart close to the CREATOR ALLAH SWT, i'll be fine always...

Thisisworldbaby!

The generosity to forgive is rare to be displayed in our modern society. The simplest and slightest mistakes often lead to greater row and prolonged disputes. In a conflict, even when a party offers an apology, the similar kindness sometimes wont be reciprocate by the other proxy.

This is world! even the urge to be sincere can be misinterpreted as a fake act to vie for respect!

Kenapa?

i

dahulu, di awal menengah rendah

guru Matematik ajar

punca kuasa dua 4 jawabnya 2

punca kuasa dua -4 pula

tiada jawapan
kita terima setakat itu
dan bersetuju

*melainkan kamu remaja genius luarbiasa*

kemudian, menginjak setahun

tingkatan 2

diajar pula

punca kuasa 4 jawabnya 2 dan -2

punca kuasa -4

masih tinggal misteri

ii

Masuk matrikulasi

barulah tahu

imaginary, complex number, conjugates pairs

Punca kuasa dua -4 sudah ketemu

jawabannya

Diperkenalkan dengan imaginary plot, graph, line

Namun terhenti di situ

iii

Masuk universiti

Ambil complex vars
banyak lagi misteri yang terungkap

iv

Hidup juga begitu

kadangkala kita digelapkan

dengan jawapan

dibiarkan dengan persoalan

kerna belum tiba masanya

untuk kita mengetahui

v

Maka kunci mutlak

adalah kesabaran

bila tiba masanya

kau akan mengerti jua

sementara itu

hapuslah derita

dan bersabar

sahaja

p/s: mahu berhenti bertanya kenapa

Lovely isnt it?

The rain brought together lasting rejuvenation to the plants and to the creatures inhabit the earth, sometimes it came as the answered prayer from the farmer to yield fertile crops, sometimes it came as the curse to the fisherman and the hawker.

Whichever role it serves, our role is to be grateful and forever thankful for whatever coming from the force. Including the rain.

After rainy days, sun slowly re-appearing, bathing the land with the heat amidst the remaining moisture blast from the rain, the damp and cool environment combine with the slight heat equals to serenity, opening a floodgates of emotion called love.

Lovely, isnt it?

The mirror

What i see when i see my reflection in the mirror every day every morning stretch beyond the image of my own face, i see beyond the present, flashing the past and foresee the future.

I plan my activities in front of the mirror, consulting, talking, weighing, arguing (sometimes calculating), because my work desk, my eating table, happens to be placed in front of the mirror, and whenever i need flat surface to get 'anything' done, thats when the the table come into usage, and that 'anything' that need to be done will be done in front of the mirror

Mirror, mirror mirror.

Junjungan mulia.

Gambaran guru dalam filem melayu lama

Have you ever watched 50's film which feature a male teacher with songkok, neatly pressed shirt, straight cut slack, and spectacles?


Itu saya panggil Cikgu Sekolah Melayu. 

Typical nerd who accidentally becoming brutal, upholding rules and regulation, flogging the deviant and gives loads and loads of homework during school break.

Claiming of spreading the righteous message, keeping young mind from straying of the best path in life, highly intellectual, rarely commit any mistake, unbelievably knowledgeable.

Im thinking of becoming one

cuba cuba belajar nak jadi mulia

(Cik kena betul betulkan niat mengajar tu dulu, biar kerana ALLAH SWT)

......

senyum, menutup pedih di hati...

Mr CesCes

(Tanpa ragu-ragu entri ini ditujukan pada Mr CesCes)

Oh Mr CesCes, my 'dear' Mr CesCes...

Perhaps what you did is noble, but the act is unfathomable. Perhaps i am blind hence i cannot find, the good is hiding, the crude is surfacing.

Oh Mr CesCes, my 'dear' Mr CesCes...

Your reason is misinterpreted, even though many people are interested, rainbow is a lot like you, full of hue, in contrast with the temporary and joyful feeling rainbow brought, your temper last and combined with a sorrow thought.

Oh Mr CesCes, my 'dear' Mr CesCes

For every clever scheme and scam you produced, cleverer i am to have a plan well-devised, for your decision to combat and strike, here i am armed with pride, to defend my right.

Harap-harap anda tidak terhibur

Stress ^_*

I was halfway helping myself with a plate of rice when i started to feel nauseous, very very nauseous. In the verge of vomiting, i managed to calm myself down a lil' bit, enough to stop myself from puking right there and then.

I was hungry, terribly hungry, even starving, but i cannot eat, not without the hint to throw up after the very first spoon of rice reaching my throat, yet to enter my digestive system.

I was tired, terribly tired, even exhausted, but i cannot sleep.

Because my mind was running like an over-working machine running out of lubricant ( not the KY jelly SaiFOOL used yer!).


Aku stress dengan byk benda

(bawak-bawak la g mengaji ye cik!)

Sedih-gembira-takut

Bila aku bersedih, aku mahu gembira, bila aku gembira aku jadi takut, kerana gembira selalunya sementara, dalam gembira, aku selalu tertanya-tanya, bilakah sedih nak datang?

Kepucatlesian-for no reason!

Today, i was infected by a plague called 'Kepucatlesian-for no reason'.

Today i was asked by my mentor ( the senior lecturer) to demonstrate a Vector concept in depth. i was very well prepared, i revised the topic for 2 hours last night, i even rehearsed the explanation of the solution to a few questions.Talking to myself as if i was teaching for a few times. Even murmured the dialogue in my dreams.

( ye la, tinggal tak tulis skrip je kan)

And the long awaited day came!, summarizing the whole story, i was experiencing 'kepucatlesian-for no reason' !

But, guess what my mentor got to comment about my teaching?

Errr, according to her i was ---- ( which was a wonder considering the kepucatlesian syndrom i contracted!)

hehe! compliment!

Its all yours now

First day i arrived in Tangkak, i was having slight difficulty to find an accommodation. Fortunately, i met her, Wani a.k.a Boya.

She was the one who offered me to share her bedroom, for temporary shelter till i managed to find my own rented house or granted  permission to stay in staff's residential area.

And today, i had finally given the green light to move into my own abode, which was a blessing because of the ridiculous long period of waiting, but its mine now. I am grateful!

But, thank you Boya for your hospitality during my stay in your bedroom, thank you, thank you, thank you

And good bye, you can have the bed all for yourself now, you dont have to control your movement during sleeping anymore for fear of kicking me out of bed.

The bed, its all yours now!


p/s: btw, kitorang satu Jabatan Matematik pun, hari hari leh jumpa kat opis walaupun dah tak sebilik, aiyoo! lama lagi you nak tengok muka i okay!!!

Tangkak ini

I only spent a month in Tangkak and i already close to car crash, THRICE.

Well, its not my fault, blame the road system, yeah, whenever anything, anywhere ever went wrong or faulty, blame the system, not the people.

This small town of Tangkak is swarming and flooding with obnoxious and ignorant 'mat rempit', rudely beating the red lights, daring to gamble with their own life when attempting the illegal racing, sudden but DELIBERATE turning without giving any kind of signal...

mau mati ka? kalau lu sorang takpa, ini orang lain pun terlibat juga!

One more, one thing Tangkak never short of: THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS.

Aiyoo, tak padan dengan kecik Tangkak ni, banyak traffic light!

(pasal traffic light pun nak komplen ke cik?)

First week of teaching

We tend to remember the first time of everything...better. First car, first love, first date, first day at school, first salary, etc.

As this month (January) nearing its end, i experienced another 'first-time-occasion', i just finished my first week of teaching in Johor Matriculation College.

Nothing much can be said, all i knew is, its best suit my interest, in all respect.

And one thing, just 5 days of teaching, works started piling and mountaineering like a sky crapping building i cannot see, but nothing similar to the Gunung Ledang beauty, its a mystery (Read: mystery refer to the Ledang beauty part,not about my piling work!)

bunga~

Pergghhh...nut tttt(penat)

I've been sleeping since 8 pm, up to 11 pm, out of exhaustion

If my brain is a fruit, the juice has been squeezed and drained till the very last drop, leaving only the taste-less remains, soon to be discard, or feed to your livestock, or simply used to clog the mouth of the person you dislike to shut him/ her up. Whatever...

It a hell of a day...penat

Maths for life

I found some formulae to be missing from my medula oblongata (..whatever~). Im going to start my first official teaching this monday, and a bit worried about that

Im working very hard to retrieve the missing pieces of Mathematical concept.

Study, study, study to teach

Teach, sincere, determine

dan semua dibuat demi kerana Allah ( Lillahi Taala)


Moga-moga berkat pekerjaan-ku, bijak anak murid-ku, bahagia hidup-ku, cemerlang hidup mereka. Moga-moga.

Everything is real!

As expected, us, the new lecturer will receive our timetable today. A meeting which was held at 2.45 pm today witnessed our astonished facial expression receiving our true, real and official arranged schedule for tutorial classes.

As in my case, i was assigned to be supervised by Mrs Lim, i took 3 classes pairing with the senior lecturer; Mr Shahrir, Mrs W.Nasroon, and Mrs Lim. Better, i even assigned with my own classes, which i will enter on my total solitude!

The teaching will start from chapter 4, the application of differential equations.

I got so much more revising to be done

And i pray to ALLAH SWT everything will come with ease...
 

No weekend for me

There will be no weekend for me this week. The schedule is packed, packed with training!

Its been 5 arduous days passed filled and jammed with training. And the administrator has made a decision to extend the training to include Saturday and Sunday, TO MY HORROR, 8 am to 5pm on Saturday and similarly on Sunday.

I hope for tomorrow, it'll be of some fun instead of serious talk on educational theories. i'll die of boredom!

Start anew

I discard the previous blog and start a new one, signifying and symbolizing a fresh, and humble beginning from a dark and murky past ( huh?)

And i decided to blog anonymously, for the sake of freedom (i mean anonymous for people i just met, many people actually know who i am)

I decided to blog anonymously, adopting a new nickname, yac

Welcome!

Love is partially blind,
Life is not kind,
Honesty is hard to find,
Luck will not bind.

-yac-